Meet Jenna Love a Blue Mountains Based Escort.
What is most important to you: sexual, emotional, intellectual, spiritual or physical attraction? Can you explain why?
In terms of the bedroom, I want to say physical but I think when people think ‘physical attraction’ they are thinking about being attracted to the way someone looks, and that’s not what I’m referring to. It’s the way your bodies fit together, the way the other person’s body feels, and the nature of the touch between the two (or more) of you. I love the actual physical element of sex – and I’m very aroused by logistics and things working well together. There have been people I don’t find particularly attractive to look at, but when we touch it feels amazing, and there have been people who are beautiful to look at, but our bodies just don’t really blend. That’s a good word for me. I like to blend – when it feels like you’re actually this one amorphous blob, rather than just separate people mashing their body parts into each other. That being said, I also find it incredibly sexy when our moral compasses align and we have similar political and societal views. So it’s a combination of the physical and the mental. You can have decent sex if it’s just one or the other, but you can have mind-blowing sex when you have both.
And when you can get that kind of connection with more than two people at once… phwoar. Heaven.
How do you think booking escorts has influenced how people discover and communicate their turn-ons?
I think it generally has an incredibly positive impact. For so many people, sex & sexuality has always come hand in hand with shame. We were raised to not talk about it, but then all of a sudden we were adults and it was expected sex was something we were all doing and that we knew how to do, and what we like, and what we don’t like. When you book an escort, both you and the worker are carving out a safe(r) space for you where you can actually speak about sex, and explore it without fear of shame, judgement, or pressure. You know that we have heard it all, the wacky, the weird, the wonderful. You know that we won’t take it personally if you decide you don’t want to do something (people are often surprised to hear that we have clients who are asexual and demisexual, as well as clients who are sexual, but aren’t always in the mood!). And you know that we won’t tell your partner, parents, boss, etc, what you’re getting up to. So the stakes are just SO much lower and that’s really key to be able to open up and experiment.
The only downside is for the people who haven’t had any or much experience dating or being intimate in the “real world”, that they have to remember it is
different. In a booking, we are creating a space for you. In the real world, you will both be creating a space for yourselves and for one other. And that’s a hell of a lot more complicated!
Have you encountered situations where clients have felt uncomfortable discussing their turn-ons or boundaries?
Definitely! Despite everything I said in the previous answer, it’s still not uncommon for clients to not be able to articulate their turn-ons, or be scared to try exploring things they are interested in.
I think there’s a lot of fear about wanting to try something but not knowing if you will like it or not, which is the case a lot of the time. Sometimes something you find really sexy in a video is just not hot in real life. And sometimes things that feel amazing in-person don’t translate to video. So it’s really hard to know what you will actually enjoy until you are doing it. So you have to just give things a go! (If they appeal to you, that is. If something doesn’t pique your interest then it probably isn’t for you). But it seems to me like there is a fear of backing out. Like we’ll start doing the thing you’ve suggested and you feel like you can’t say stop because it’s something you asked for, but this couldn’t be further from reality. You can absolutely say “oh this is actually really weird” or “okay that was painful and not in a sexy way”. It’s actually really hot if someone has the strength to go “I want to try this” and then five minutes later go “okay nope that was not for me”.
Articulating boundaries is one that I find clients really struggle with. Queer clients don’t seem to have this problem, but it’s not unusual for me to hear a straight male client say “I don’t care, you can do absolutely anything you want to me”, which frankly makes me think they should’ve booked a domme, because that’s not how I operate in the bedroom (it actually usually means they want me to stick something in their butt), but a domme probably wouldn’t accept that booking because it’s absolutely absurd to say that you don’t have boundaries. Of course you do – we all have things we don’t want to do. My theory is that queers, femmes, and those socialised as women have learnt what our boundaries are, because we are used to them being pushed, and perhaps a lot of straight men haven’t had those encounters and had the opportunity to work out what they don’t like. But I would encourage you to, instead of saying “do anything to me”, say “I would love it if you put your finger in my arse”. Or “how would you feel about tying me up and whipping me”. Because we can’t read your mind! And if you
genuinely want us to do whatever we want to do, we’re probably going to order pizza and play a video game.
What do you find most rewarding about ensuring a positive experience for your clients?
When a client arrives, most of the time they are incredibly nervous. Often they have wacky ideas in their head (planted there by the media), are doing a lot of negative self-talk, and they’re not entirely sure what to expect. Sure, there is often excitement thrown in there too, it’s not all negative emotions, but especially if it is their first, second, or even third time seeing you, there’s a lot of stuff going on in their brains. And then, usually fairly quickly, they are welcomed into this space where they feel sexy, desired, heard, and seen. Their intimacy and/or sexual needs are being met, and you can literally see the change in them. The self doubt melts away, the fears disappear, and they literally bounce out the door sometimes! I used to be a makeup artist, and it was a similar feeling. Being able to make someone feel really good about themselves is such an intoxicating, addictive thrill. I don’t know if I’ll ever get enough of it.
I do a lot of volunteering and I feel like I’m in this constant battle to try to make the world a better place for people. I do it because I love it, but the rewards are few and far between and you seldom get to see the difference you’ve made. At work however, the reward is instant. I get to make people happy and I can’t ask for much more than that out of a job. Although an end to the stigma & discrimination would be really nice too…
You’ve been open about being polyamorous in your personal life. How does that affect your work? Or how does your work affect your relationships?
I think it is often expected that, if a sex worker is in a romantic relationship, that that relationship needs to be non-monogamous, open, poly, etc. I worry that people use me as an example of that, but I want to make it very clear that my work and my personal life are totally separate – just like anyone. I am not poly because I’m a sex worker and I’m not a sex worker because I’m poly. When I first entered the sex industry, Mr Love and I were monogamous. I slept with clients, but my relationship was monogamous. It was a few years later that I realised I wanted to explore an open relationship, and later poly relationships, and I can tell you that was a FAR bigger shift in Mr Love and I’s relationship. When I started sex work, we had a chat about it, and it happened. When we opened up our relationship however, it was a totally different story. We had so many conversations, and we’re still having conversations,
because it’s about our lives together. Sex work on the other hand, is just my job. There are sex workers who are monogamous and there are sex workers who are non monogamous, just like there are plumbers who are monogamous and there are plumbers who are non-monogamous.
Like anyone, sometimes I meet my partners at work. But unlike with most workplaces, I get to try before I buy! That being said, I don’t want to give out the wrong idea and have people thinking they can date me by becoming my client. In over a decade, I’ve only dated three clients, so it’s not like it’s a common thing. And I’ve got Mr Love, my long-term boyfriend, and a very busy schedule – so I’m absolutely not on the hunt!
