Meet Alice Elle, a Melbourne Escort. View Alice’s profile via: https://ivysociete.com/escorts/profile/alice-elle
Do you think understanding and communicating about turn-ons is important in a relationship? Why or why not?
Yes and no. I think it’s okay to enter a relationship, or even a one off encounter and not have a full understanding of what turns you on and/or how to communicate this to someone else. A willingness to be open, vulnerable and communicative are the most important things in my opinion. Sometimes you may not have the language to describe what you want or enjoy, and that’s where the exploration comes into play! Feeling safe in saying “yes/more of that please” or “not that way/this way instead”, and on the flip side trusting that your partner will be honest and communicate with you in the same way is imperative to healthy sexual adventures!
How do you explore new turn-ons or fantasies in a safe and consensual way?
Exploring things new to me and helping others explore new things is my jam! Both in my work and in my personal life, I prefer to have a conversation beforehand about what we are wanting to explore specifically and how we want to feel.
While we might be super turned on by the fantasy, it’s also important to acknowledge that it’s new to us and we don’t always know how we will react and how it will feel in reality. While we need to feel safe and trust that our partner/s will communicate if they are uncomfy, we also need to be checking in with them. People have this notion that checking in, or asking consent throughout sex is unsexy, but in my opinion there is nothing sexier than someone whispering in my ear “are you enjoying this?”. HOT.
How do you think booking escorts has influenced how people discover and communicate their turn-ons?
I take a lot of pride in practicing consent, both personally and professionally, and I do notice that by modeling this the folks I am intimate with follow my lead. I think that while booking escorts is just an all round fun and sexy time, there is also a major education piece around consent and communication that gives folks the language and tools to be able to do this ‘out in the wild’. I would also hope that in exploring in a non-judgemental space, it helps to alleviate any shame folks might feel about specific turn-ons and for them to realise it’s common and okay to be into some whacky stuff!
Can you share an experience where effective communication about turn-ons enhanced your personal or professional relationship? What did you learn from it?
I’ve had numerous clients come to me interested in exploring being dominated. This means so many different things to so many people! I like to have a conversation beforehand about the actual feeling they are searching for? Do they want to relinquish control either mentally or through bondage? Do they want to feel frightened? Pain or no pain? Objectified and humiliated? Some stern but caring disciplinary vibes?
Do you see how things could go really badly without this type of conversation prior? On top of speaking about specific acts they are interested in, having a conversation around how they want to *feel* enhances the experience for everyone involved. It makes you feel cared for, considered and safe which I’ve learnt, both personally and professionally, are key ingredients to a successful encounter.
Have you encountered situations where clients or partners have felt uncomfortable discussing their turn-ons or boundaries? How do you create a safe and non-judgmental space for such conversations?
When I have clients that are either uncomfy about these conversations, or perhaps just inexperienced in having them, I like to lead by example. If someone wants to go with the flow of the session that’s absolutely fine, but I will find ways to check in throughout. Some examples of phrases that you will hear me say are “do you like being touched here?”, “do you like your [body part] being touched like this, or like this?”, “I want to [activity] with you, does that sound good to you?”, “would you like to [activity] to me?”. Offering suggestions in this way gives folks a chance to reflect in the moment about their desires and to communicate their needs. I find that what often happens is that they will follow my lead and ask similar questions back to me.
