I just quit my day job to do this full time!
I’ll tell you the truth – I’m fucking terrified! Leaving behind the security of a predictable paycheck, paid leave, and the structured routine that comes with traditional employment is a massive step into the unknown for me. And yet – it’s been an urge that has tugged at my soul for years.
As Australia teeters on the brink of an impending recession and many of us tighten on discretionary spending, fear creeps in: I am a discretionary expense. Have I made a mistake? Can I make this work full-time? My new reality is one where income can fluctuate, clients may be transient, and success is contingent upon relentless (and often cringe-inducing) self-promotion.
But, as many a BDSM enthusiast will tell you, fear is also sexy.
There is a dance between safety and risk, comfort and adventure. It’s the same tension I chased when I packed my suitcase and moved to a city on the other side of the world where I didn’t know anyone (twice), equal in portions of ecstasy and existential terror. Who am I without my [familiar routines/hometown comfortability/9-to-5]? Every time I repeat such exercises, I’m fortunate to find the answer is that I’m a better version of myself: more alive, more purposeful, more turned-on.
So, here we go again! I’m excited to test my limits as I welcome the challenges of this new chapter. Thank you to my lovers – past, present, and future – who make this adventure possible. Each tryst we share edges me (no pun intended) towards a greater understanding of myself, and reinforces that I am rightfully in the driver’s seat of my destiny, via whatever unconventional path I may choose.
I want to rest in your arms and share these new facets of myself I discover with you – but, it’s only fair if you do the same. What makes you feel alive? What fears are you chasing? When was the last time you did something that you felt in your soul?
Tell me next time we meet.
Until then,
N x
