In Which I Fail to Give a Single Concise Answer to Ivy Societe’s Interview Questions

What is your ideal date with a client?

(A) Dinner, theatre, dessert at cat cafe and then back to the hotel. (B) Takeaway and video game or movie then to the bedroom.

What’s your biggest turn on?

Respect, intelligence and a nice cologne. Kindness and empathy. A nice upper arm. Quiet confidence – not arrogance or overt self-effacement. Ability to call out toxic behaviour in other men. Ability to rock a nice suit. Arriving at the outcall and they have a pet or pets I am allowed to meet. Arriving at the outcall and seeing they own and read a lot of books.

What’s your favourite restaurant and your favourite dish on the menu?

BBQ at Plus 82 Gogi, boodle fight at Adobo Co, yum cha at Chef Dong, Nutella heart at O’Connell Street Bakery, especially after midnight.

Among your friends, what are you best known for?

Always being down for a text conversation consisting of memes not words. Being the first person to arrive at the organised meeting spot. My shit taste in music. How bad I am at dancing. My unironic love of most of the musicals of Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Whats something you couldn’t live without?

Cats and sea otters. My friends. My iPhone. Batiste dry shampoo.

What’s Your favourite Place on Earth?

Not quite the same as “favourite” I know, but a place I love and value, know I’m always welcome, and has some of the people I love and care about most in it, my childhood home.

If you could have any celebrity as a client, who would it be and why?

One of the actors from the tv show “Spartacus” because I could fangirl at them about “Spartacus”.